DISCLAIMER: The following hot mess, that can only marginally qualify as a "Cons" section, is the closest you'll currently get to a comprehensive list of things that people should be consciously reflecting on and thinking about before applying (anywhere, really) but especially so for Logical Position, because this company is offering something truly remarkable for young marketers starting in Portland. Nobody wants to ruin a good opportunity or accidentally burn the wrong bridge. So here we go:
1. Right off the bat. This is NOT the place to go if you're still dealing with ADHD, GAD, depression or any other kind of neurological imbalance that might cause you to trip yourself up.
Undiagnosed and misdiagnosed disorders are all too common in young people, and it's easy to hide from or ignore one's disorders in non-professional fields and throughout college. This company expects *constant* forward movement and top-level professional service from its people, so if you want to work here, get yourself checked out and fixed up WELL before applying!
You're (inquiring about) entering a brand new professional universe where everything is great and magical as long as you properly conduct your due diligence. The same principle extends to the rest of your life. If you have a fraction of a doubt, go to your doctor. Heck, go to any doctor. Just stay on top of your isht.
2. If you can't learn new concepts quickly & with an open mind, correctly organize your book (and all of the little client-specific details that come with it), listen actively and be able to near-immediately turn around and communicate the same concepts (with authority) to clients and/or teammates with both written & verbal proficiency, do yourself a favor and X out of this review/the Logical Position career page/anything else that's telling you that applying here is a good idea.
Now, say it with me: Coffee is for closers only. Coffee is for closers only. Coffee is for closers only. Coffee is for closers only. Got it yet? Good.
Do *not* return until you've built up those skillsets.
Regardless of what you've read or heard, Logical Position is a certified top-level heavy hitter with a status (and tens of millions of dollars in revenues) to uphold. It is NOT the small upstart agency that's figuring itself out via trial & error; it has fully matured into a king/queen (or at least a prince/princess) of the mainstream all-things-digital-marketing marketplace, and no longer has patience or room for your puny weakhanded mistakes.
Imagine Rocky Balboa rolling through the 2018 UFC Championship while sporting a fresh pair of Yeezys and a platinum-gold Apple Watch. Add a wig and pushup bra if you're on a progressive bent. Now try to think about anything other than that.
You're welcome.
Anyway, as a new employee you don't necessarily have to come in with key knowledge on AdWords or Bing or pouring delicious IPAs from the Holy Matron Saint of office kegs, but please don't waste your time and their time by bringing soft skills to the table that are less than what I've mentioned above. (Unless you're bringing Yeezys to the table. In which case, may I purchase them with Ethereum!?)
3. This agency might actually be growing too quickly for its own good in certain cases. While the ensuing chaos of mass-growth followed by sentiments of "I no longer recognize most of the people in this bloc, help me *arbitrary non-denominational religious figure*" from senior employees can mean that the stars are aligning with plenty of lucrative opportunities for (particularly new) individual contributors to participate and succeed in mission-critical assignments, it's also the same force that causes leadership to lose touch with employees.
For example, I had to go out of my way to meet Mike, the CEO (huh? that doesn't seem in-line with the other reviews). Additionally, as a side-effect of many teams and groups perpetually enduring the volatility and ironclad immediacy of crunchtime (growth = new clients = more work + more capital = more employees = more resources dedicated to training = furthered capacity for growth), in its current state this company IS inadvertently tribal and clique-ish despite being advertised otherwise.
Keep in mind though that some level of well-intentioned chaos almost always fosters within any organization that's experiencing exponential growth in a short period of time. Translation to English: If you're a good company fit and also a good role fit, you'll find your people. I mean, it's either that or be flayed alive (just like in the title!)
4. I don't know about the other offices- but if you're in Portland, you're planning to be at work every weekday between 6:30 to 7:30 am.
Let's face it. If you're a self-styled nocturnal creature (such as a vampire or a DJ), or if you still go out on weekends but are also prone to collapsing in the nearest semi-cozy swivel chair failing 8 hours of uninterrupted "disco-napping", or if you're simply not a morning person- hold on, I thought I already told you to click out of here!
In the words of Thumper, your part-time friendly neighborhood ski instructor and full-time figment of Trey Parker's imagination: "You're going to have a bad time."
It doesn't matter if you're Conor McGregor or Winnie the Pooh, your circadian clock *already* wasn't built to anticipate you falling off of that one random friend's couch (at 1 pm) following your casual Friday-night bender of cranberry vodka-Red Bull catastrophes and truckstop burritos (you magnificent 20-something trainwreck). Good luck getting it to play nicely on Monday morning (at 6 am) as you struggle not to repeatedly hit snooze on that "Eye of the Tiger" alarm tone you so cleverly installed 3 hours prior.
And while committing (to the completely non-dubious sleep schedule that you should have totally retained from your K-12 days) does eventually get better- because money- you're willfully shifting your charlatan lifestyle and haphazardly cutting "old" habits to make this whole *regular office-job thing* work out. Come now, this isn't a problem for /regular people/. Why is it so difficult for *you*?
Which is why I proudly recommend stocking up on melatonin, magnesium tabs, lavender oil, and a weighted blanket. YMMV. (But seriously though, please look into each of the above. You, your boss and your immediate family members/roommates/significant other(s) will be thanking me- er, Glassdoor, later.)
Now where was I? Ah, yes-
5. The people! Depending on who you are, which department/role you work in, which specific team you're on, and where you sit within that team.
