Do not work here, you'll thank me! - Anonymous employee Carilion Clinic Employee Review

I enjoy that they have epic.

There are no cons that I can think of

I can listen to music

Are you searching for a job that truly redefines your expectations — in all the worst ways? Step right up. Do you enjoy being encouraged into prayer at gatherings? Craving a workplace that preaches caring about employees while doing the exact opposite? You’re in luck. Looking for a company that refuses to hire enough staff, then wonders why everything is falling apart? Perfect match. Love the idea of all your holidays, sick days, and PTO being mashed into one tiny 7‑hour‑every‑two‑weeks accrual? A true masterpiece of “efficiency.” Want to meet every requirement management throws at you… only to receive no raise whatsoever? Inspirational. Dream of dedicating five years of your life just to earn a microscopic pension? A real fairy tale. Training? Don’t be silly. Inclusion for LGBTQ+ employees? Only if “inclusion” means pretending the topic doesn’t exist. Improvement? Why improve when ignoring problems is free — and money is more important anyway. Enjoy paying more and more every year for health insurance that somehow keeps getting worse? A rare skill, really. And don’t forget the cherry on top: internal company “reviews” that claim to be anonymous… but absolutely are not. Nothing says “we value feedback” like making sure no one feels safe giving any. If you love hearing that multiple employees are unhappy, seeing bad reviews pile up, and being underpaid for the mountain of nonsense you deal with daily, congratulations! You’ve found your forever home.