Are you a hero developer?
Do you hate transparency?
Do you enjoy chaos and pivoting around and around?
Could you care less if you do the right work, or that your work gets thrown in the garbage?
Do you read the hottest software development books and cherry pick the parts that support your narrow agenda?
Do you like working on projects that aren’t driven by customers?
Is your favorite cereal magically delicious Silicon Slopes Fluff Nuggets?
Do you love buzzwords, marketing hype, and fuzzy math that would make Saddam Hussein’s press secretary blush?
Do you love lip service regarding a whole host of career and workplace issues?
Would you enjoy working in a caste style software modal?
Do you have a deep confident meeting/bedroom voice?
Do you enjoy working in a milky hazy fog where special people decide the fate of all things?
Are you a middle manager who adds little to no value whatsoever and is willing to unquestioningly follow the whims and wishes of your superiors?
Can you easily spot detractors?
Can you hold a grudge?
Do you hate working on functional teams?
If you answered yes to some of these questions, then Ivanti is the place for you. Ivanti isn’t really a software company any more. They are slowly being bled to death by private equity and the c-level management that is hoping to keep up the ruse just long enough to get their golden parachutes the next time Ivanti is sold. Aaah, the Silicon Valley model, what a great way for a very few people to get incredibly wealthy. My favorite was when Ivanti had a big layoff, even though according to the CTO the company was incredibly profitable. I guess making loads of money isn't the what it used to be. If you don’t meet their targets, somebody has to go. They have several houses to pay for after all. I mean how embarrassing for them to have to drive around an old model Tesla. Consequently, Ivanti is working on whatever will increase the price tag for the next sale. They have gone all in on the Cloud, but have no real vision or compelling story to tell. They need the money from their loyal on-prem customers, so they do just enough to string them along. I was constantly baffled by the CTO trying to prematurely kill the only thing that has ever made money for Ivanti, which is the on-prem software developed over the last 20 years by a bunch of talented loyal Utah nerds. The CEO loves to appear at Silicon Slopes events to proclaim Ivanti’s proud Utah tech roots, while they slowly and quietly offshore the “proud Utah” engineering jobs to India, or Romania, or whichever Eastern European country is really hot right now. Not to mention the goals they have around bringing in cheaper recent graduates, especially women. The goals are just another way of saying quotas, which I’m pretty sure is illegal, but who is going to call them on it. One of the things you used to be able to say about Ivanti was that there were good decent people working there, but most of them have left, or been laid off. The few decent people that remain keep their heads down waiting for the day when the special people will decide their fate. If you’re one of those few decent people left, don’t wait for the special people to Silicon Slopes you. There are some great places to work out there, with lots of good decent people who actually do customer driven work and value their software engineers.
