4y
Hey - first off, I want to apologize (this is PC - CEO of ProfitWell). While I'm going to add some context and clear up a number of things you've said, you didn't have a great experience. No matter that context, it's my job to make sure everyone on the team is fulfilled and for failing you here I'm truly sorry. While I'm going to address some of the above, I want to be clear that I'm not trying to take away from your feelings.
We're trying to do a lot of things quickly, and we're trying do those things at a high quality level with few resources. This makes our environment intense. Sometimes that intensity does cause people to "blow up" and that's completely unacceptable. We've worked to purge this type of behavior from the company and thankfully it hasn't happened often.
You mentioned I blatantly called someone stupid. I'm not sure if this is something you're saying you witnessed or you heard through the grapevine, which may have been distorted. I don't think this happened in a blatant manner, because I'm incredibly sensitive to personal attacks like this.
Growing up I was an abused kid and a good amount of that was verbal abuse, being called fat and stupid pretty constantly. This made me incredibly sensitive to verbal attacks and bullying of any kind. To be incredibly clear, I'm not trying to take away the feeling you had (because I think the next part is where it comes into play), but I wanted to address that part head on. That being said, if there's any chance, however unlikely, I did blatantly call someone stupid, I want to be incredibly clear that I'm sorry and there's no excuse.
We've had a number of managers over the years where they've belittled someone. When this has happened, I immediately focus on investigating the situation. It's typically the result of conversations getting too heated on both sides, but even if a team member is participating, the onus of calming the convo is absolutely on the manager. In the one time I uncovered egregious behavior, the manager was fired.
I think I know where your reactions comes from though. I have come to terms with being a terrible manager for those individuals who do not do well with direct, feedback laden conversations. My style of management is focused on speedy truth seeking. For someone who aligns well with that I'm a "manger that accelerates my career and doesn't care about being right". For someone who does not do well with this, I'm a "manager that doesn't care about me and just wants to be right."
Neither person is better or worse, but they're reacting to the same stimuli (me in this case). I deeply care about everyone on this team. Yet for that latter personality, I'll never live up to their communication style. It's not that I don't want to. I very much do (and have tried quite a bit). Yet, either the way I handle situations, my aspergers and upbringing, or just the way I see the world means you and I don't communicate well together
We see this theme across ProfitWell with folks who communicate more like me clashing with those who communicate more like you. We used to think it's completely our/my fault with many sleepless nights of anxiety and feeling less than, because someone didn't like how I shared feedback or I made someone cry and I didn't know why. We tried coaching on all sides, but we learned there just isn't a lot of change for the pathways you and I developed over decades.
So what do we do? Well both styles have strengths, so we need to set up the culture to work with both, which is what we focused on the past 12-18 months. Sadly, it doesn't seem like you were here to see those full results. Here's a few thing we've done:
- We started screening for communication style in the recruiting process to identify mismatches head on. This helped a lot.
- We've moved managers and team members around to align better on communications style
- Those that score high on quick/direct communication receive a lot of coaching on recognizing when speaking with someone who struggles with that. This is mostly between people who don't work directly together, which is what I believe was your and I's situation.
I want to be clear that I'm not excusing your feelings. I know I have the capability of making people feel the way you felt and no matter my will and want to not make anyone feel that way, it has happened. I hope you also don't get the impression I'm just throwing my hands in the air and saying, "not going to change myself." The way I communicated with people two years ago is different than a year ago and different than today. I hope in a year I'm communicating even better.
I hope this helps, and if you'd ever like to chat, please reach out. I really do appreciate you, your candor, and what you've done to push us forward. I can't promise we're going to get everything right or that you're going to agree with a tradeoff we made, but with each iteration we'll get better as we push the mission forward.